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Change your phone number (if you can).
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Change your name (if you can).
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Move away (if you can, the further the better).
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Make fun of his mother (if you can not realistically accomplish the first three).
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Avoid places you hung out together.
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Do not give him nor anyone else the satisfaction of a “crazy” reaction.
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Realize that with some, you may be just simply cursed and stuck with maybe even forever.
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Avoid all legal drama, sadly, these are always the legally dramatic.
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Don’t trust anyone who knows him and be skeptical of advice from strangers.
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Do whatever possible to avoid his leaching onto the one’s you love.
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Distance yourself from traitors within your family and friends.
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Protect your kid(s) as best you can.
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Self-pampering is essential.
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Living well is the best revenge.
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Exercise to deal with the stress if you are forced to share your child with said person.
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Do not, for any reason, believe anything this person tells you especially if he is psychologically abusive and/or insecure.
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Do not bad mouth to your kids but do prepare your kids to be alone with this lovely and wonderful human being.
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If your child is very young and there is a history of abuse and/or neglect and you have been abandoned by the “system” teach your child to scream bloody murder if he/she is in danger.
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Don’t stop believing in karma, what goes around comes around, this can offer some peace during his toxicity.
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Try to keep the faith that this too shall pass and maybe one day fail to repeat.
NOTE FROM THE AUTHOR: This article is not based on any particular person and is only intended for satirical purposes.