- Fragmentation. Feminism has failed over and over again because of this and this alone; there is no unified purpose. The media has confused and manipulated the message of true and lasting feminism. Why, you ask? Well easy, just like all fundamentalist movements, America was founded on fundamentalist principle and this revolves around the idea of men controlling women. True story, no bras were burned in the 1960’s or at least that was the story I heard from a strong and smart woman that is old enough to actually know. Even the worst, most hate-filled, evil movements in the world have succeeded for this simple reason: power exists in numbers. Just because you do your best to donate your time and energy to the most pure, good, noble and moral cause, without others, you will always fall short. One-hundred hate-filled bigots with pitch forks will always defeat one socially ethical moderately motivated optimist, always without exception and likely they will (figuratively) slaughter you and carry your head around on their pitch fork too. So get passionate or don’t bother. If self-loathing is kind of your thing and no Dr. is going to convince you they can help? Get outside and go for a walk, jog or hike. Cease the moment and the day.
- Take control of your sex appeal. Using and not using sex-y to get ahead – the key is boundaries. The not-sexy women can all be sexy because confidence is the most important element in sexy and we all know confidence comes from within. Obviously, a short skirt and red lipstick will make you look sexy and draw attention on your next Friday night out – go girl, do your thing but come Monday morning you have to use that positive energy and gratification to fuel your inner sexy, your inner confidence, your inner self-control, and your inner happiness. This is a lot of work, I know, but what is better, obsessing about other women that you think are sexier to men than you, upsetting yourself, feeling jealous and ultimately wasting your valuable emotions on negativity and unnecessary stress?
- The world is not equal, it never will be, it never has been and that is just the way it is. Please repeat this 100x, breath deep and let go. You may have power in your own home, over your own children but outside of that extremely limited circle of trust you have minimal to zero power. Sure, participate your time in feeding the hungry because it makes you feel good but do not fool yourself into thinking you will ever end world hunger.
- There are good, bad and okay men, just like women. Just because you are seeking business equality does not mean you need to treat all men like they are repulsive. There is a very important theme here, live and let live. Men are programmed to think a certain way just like women and as we all know they are from Mars and we are from Venus. That is not their fault just like it is not our fault so stop belittling men and trying to manipulate them from being different than they are. Let them be and focus on yourself because this is the only person you have control over. Here is the beauty of thinking this way, if your man, for instance, decides to cheat on you with another woman, decides to abuse or neglect you in some way, wants a divorce, whatever, you can NEVER take it personal. Tell him, okay, you understand and you wish him well and secretly think to yourself his LOSS and likely it is because secure, truly successful men that are in a good place in life mentally and spiritually, just like women, do not treat their partners this way. This behavior stems from some type of self-hate so consider the other woman a blessing and move on with your own beautiful life. If you have a hard time doing things for yourself and/or struggle with self-love like me, do it for your inner child and/or your actual child.
- We failed Hillary Clinton. Oh my, I said it and I will give you a big hint, getting behind her over Trump was already to late. I understand African-American and maybe other minority women supporting President Obama but the rest of us, seriously? What the hell were we thinking! That was our maybe one chance at truly changing the circumstances of all women and we collectively blew it. Whine, cry, make excuses, blame Lewinsky, even though I still think it’s absurd to blame Hillary for Bill’s affair. How would you feel if and/or when your husband cheats on you (it happens a lot) and the whole country threw it in your face and blamed you for not being a good enough woman, held a grudge toward you for the next decade, and finally used that plus some other petty and absurd nonsense to deny you an equal chance at being the boss of the oval office in spite of your far superior qualifications.
- Stop blaming men for feminist shortcomings and don’t expect them to give us equality. Your husband is your partner in life, he is not your god nor does he likely want to be. The moment you truly realize this and you start living for yourself, please re-visit #2. It’s not cheating if again you have defined boundaries for yourself and others and you stay strong and true to yourself.